you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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