We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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