threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
