i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
