**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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