New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was like eating out sand paper
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
