Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
