I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
