the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How does one acquire holy water?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
