oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
