yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
