It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did I show you my penis last night?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
