Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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