Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
