Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
