their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
