Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize