He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
