but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
