Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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