wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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