Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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