K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
