take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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