Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
