so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
