This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
