Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
