I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
