I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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