my vag is so smooth its legendary
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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