She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
