therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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