4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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