idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I love having hate sex.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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