her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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