Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
