Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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