nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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