I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
