we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
