Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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