That's when you crack a 10am beer
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
