Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
