Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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