i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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