I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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