You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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