ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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