Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
